Sunday, May 2, 2010

Teachers & Kids

Kids Are Quick

____________ _________ ______ _________


 

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America ..

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.


 

(I Love this kid)

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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with " I "

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right ... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it.


 

Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand....

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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

____________ _________ _________


 

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's ... Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

Friday, April 23, 2010

Poems - Wife & Husband

WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.


HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.


WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.


HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?


WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you

 
 

Monday, July 6, 2009

Joke

विशेषज्ञ : वह आदमी है जो कम से कम चीजों के बारे में ज्यादा से ज्यादा जानता है।
ज्ञानी : वह शख्स जिसे प्रभावी ढंग से, सीधी बात को उलझाना आता है।